OK, fess up. What stupid/funny/embarrasing things have you done on snow that still make you cringe?

Photos will be even better...

If you're going to start a thread like this, you need to provide your own starter!

A double detach, triple somersault followed by a Superman face slide directly under the Heavenly Chair on Gunbarrel just after thinking "DAMN I'm good". Skis ended up on Slalom gully. An ex-girlfriend of mine even has a pic. Thankfully I'm no longer in contact.

give us her name, we'll track her down and offer to host the pics.

i don't have embarrassing moments, everything I do is planned and deliberate.

Getting something caught while taking off my ABS pack in front of a busy restaurant and discharging the bags. Almost gave the old lady nearby a heart attack. Thank god for helmets and goggles.

Showing a buddy a great jump in packed soft snow. In my enthusiasm to show off I went twice as big as ever before, about 20' up with full windmill arms, landed way too vertically, sunk in deep to double eject and major faceplant. My boss was riding directly above in the chair and I was in full view of half the chair and half the upper mountain. Great jump for showing off on, not so good for blowing it (esp. in uniform). Boss was still laughing after the lunch break.

Yeah I guess so... I have a few, this may take a while.

Best one was while I was working at Black Sallees On Mountain Restaurant (1994) at Thredbo. Our restaurant's 'mascot' was "Black Sallee' the Black Witch, there were a couple of fake witches in the restaurant, logos of witches on the menu etc etc.

As a promotion once or twice each week we used to hand out lunch and schnapps vouchers. This was promoted on the local radio and around the village. The idea was that 'Black Sallee' the witch would be on the mountain from 11am and would be handing out free vouchers. Punters used to chase the witch and if they could catch her they got a free voucher, and could come in for their meal/drink at lunchtime.

So I was the guy who used to dress up as the witch (black pants/black boots/black jacket/ witch mask/ black cape) and hoot around the mountain with a pocket full of vouchers. Of course what sort of witch would take to the mountain unless she's riding a broomstick?

So I used to fang around up and down Supertrail cackling like a witch, riding my broom and generally having a bit of a fun ski for an hour or so.

One particularly pleasant day the snow conditions were excellent and I was witching my way down the supertrail under the crackenback quad. With my broom between my legs I was carving turns, and getting airs over the rollovers. And then it happened.

I hit a bigger rollover at speed, flew a little bit further than planned (hey, that witch CAN fly!) and crossed up the tips on landing, hit the snow with my face and basically did about 11 somersalts coming to a stop with bits of splintered broom, gloves, masks, pieces of cape and shredded schnapps vouchers scattered all over the hill... oops.

At least I got a good cheer from the lift! And I have vowed never to broom-ski again..

winner

Where's the guy who's upside down hanging off the chair with his pants around his ankles when you need him?

I tried tele skiing once.

Overseas one time I was in the singles queue for a gondola I hadn't ridden before, the first one around looked half full so I slotted my skis in the holder on the door and stepped in and sat next to two ladies. Looking across there were two guys, presumably their boyfriends or husbands. I noticed the guys took up the whole width of their seat and noticed our side was a bit snug. I asked them if this was a 4 person gondola and they said yes. Boy that was an awkward trip.

The year I properly learnt to ski.

1978, at Baw Baw, and after gaining just the right (wrong) amount of confidence from the past few weeks of lessons, I decided that today was the day to hit that tiny, little jump down near the bottom of Hut Run.

This was the year that Baw Baw fluked the early, massive dump from a cold front that snuck up from the Southern Ocean, almost burying the mountain. There was so much snow that instructors were (drunkenly) skiing off lodge roofs, and steps had to be cut down into the lift huts for skier access!

I skied past this little jump a few times, getting it all lined up in my head. And it really was little - maybe only 30 - 40cm at the front, and a dip at the back of maybe 25 - 30cm. Then it was time to do it.

I got it all lined up, did a small panicky braking about 10m out, to lose some speed, tried to remember what you were supposed to do with your knees, and slammed into at all of 20/25kph.

The last thing I remember is the tails of my skiis whacking me in the back of my head.

Next thing I remember is someone asking, "Mate, are you OK? Are you alright, mate?"

"Um, yeah. Sure. I'm fine."

"You sure? You look a bit groggy. You've been sitting there a while now - I've come past you three or four times."

"No, I'm fine. I'm just... having a bit of a rest," I said, very unconvincingly, patting my pockets and pulling out a packet of Juicy Fruit.

"Yeah, well, OK. But I'm going to keep an eye on you. Make sure you're alright."

"Yeah, OK, thanks."

Now! My fall happened at the bottom of the run. The above conversation happened at the top of the run, off to the side of the poma. Forty-five minutes later!

Ski brakes had not been approved for Australia in 1978, so this was in the nightmare days of "safety" straps. After my fall I would have been a tangled mess of skis, poles and safety straps. I had somehow - either on my own or assisted - reassembled myself and my ski gear, somehow made it across to the tow hut, climbed down the icy steps and ridden the poma to the top. At this point I presume I skied over to where there was a treated pine railing, on which I was sitting - skis on, tucked underneath me, under the pine railing.

I know it was 45 minutes later, because in my head, right before I hit the jump, I'd checked my watch, thinking I'd do the jump, then go get some lunch.

I have never remembered those 45 minutes!

I tried grass skiing - once!

I think it probably happened two weeks ago.

Starting race masters this year - on teles. Some of the kids were out skiing on opening weekend on Sun Run at Hotham as part of boot camp,I chatted to the coach for a while then went off for a ski. Second turn, weight too far forward faceplanted.

Yeah, I'm ready to start race training... not...

Falls Creek, ending up in a creek at the end of one of the home trails after trying to dodge 2 big dirt patches....luckily I pulled myself out before anyone came along and also lucky it was all hire gear!

nuff said.

EM#2.

Skiing Thredbo a few years ago, early season. I hadn't done any pre-season exercise etc and the legs were starting to get tired by early arvo after a solid morning of runs.

I was skiing down alongside the Basin T Bar and just as I skiied over the last hump before the T-Bar queue my right thigh muscle decided to go into involuntary spasms which locked my right leg straight. Trying to recover was of no use and I skiied the last 20 or so metres 'robot style' with leg fully locked straight and a 'this is gonna hurt' stupid grin on my face. Of course I manageed to crash straight into the tail end of the lift queue, creating a sensational domino effect on the waiting skiiers. STRIKE!

With my leg still twitching and spasming I said my sorry's and then limped off and sat down to the edge of the lift queue, having a rest and pulling Mars bar out for a bit of a sugar hit. The whole time I sat there the lifty just shook his head and chuckled at me...

For about 3 seasons after that I was referred to as 'Mister Stiffy'

Wasn't 1994 about the year Dave O'Reilly hit a rollover at speed and smashed both his legs when he hit a tree at airborne warp speed? When they were testing the altitude watches through Hotshots?

As for myself... one Flare Run I was drunk, man was I drunk. I was so drunk I fell over, somersaulted right through to the next turn, stood up and kept on skiing as though nothing had happened. I was so proud of myself and I though no-one had noticed. BUT... some punter who was on the flare run for his one and only time came over and actually went off at me a bit "what the hell were you DOING up there? What WAS that"??? He was so upset, so I got embarrassed. And never rode Flare Run that drunk again

That's my new biggest fear.

Aged about 14, I stopped in the snow gums at FC for a pee. Couldn't be bothered removing skis. Suddenly skis started moving forward and before I knew it, I was in the middle of the run, still squatting with my pants around my ankles. As a 14 year old girl, I really thought I would die of embarrassment.

P.S. That was a couple of valleys over from Sun Valley - well before there were any toilets on that side of the mountain.

My favourite skier pic

Too many. The one that comes to mind now was when I was a rookie instructor in the US. First day of the hiring clinic, heading up for the first run on a beginners chairlift.

I'm loading with the head of the ski school, Staatliche (full cert) Austrian, Mr Hans Schernthaner, a truly phenom skier. We're getting to know each other, me carrying on like I'm having trouble figuring out if I'm closer to Hermann Maier or Seth Morrison.

As the chair swings underneath, I'm struggling to get good purchase on the chair and after about four seconds of frantic bottom wiggling, I fall off.

Hans was not impressed.

Same location different outcome.
Top of Basin was firm, Supertrail was closed as it was too icy - being regroomed and let to soften in the sun. Sun had done it's work down near the Basin t-bar lift queue extremely well, and there was a rapid transition from hard packed to sun softened to deep deep slush.
I was pushing it to prove my improvements to a mate and as I pulled up fast on my heel the board just sank so far the toe edge caught...umm...no embedded. A rather rapid and unelegant face plant into the soft soft slush right in front of every one in the lift queue.
I don't show off anymore.

I rode the bullwheel in uniform on the beginners chair at Vail

Stacked and racked in queue on a 30 degree slope waiting for the T-Bar at Rainbow.
Watching a nice bum go past on the lift lost my edge , fell over and took out everyone below me with the domino effect.
Sorry doesn't cut it in that situation.

The first day I learned to do a 360 I had to rehearse before each jump. On the second day I tried to show off by not rehearsing. I made it to 180, stopped rotating and panicked. I leant back and landed square between my shoulder blades and tore my sternum. All my friends saw was a pair of ski bases disappearing behind the jump.